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Gitch made it back in time to see Alpha hand over a short stick to a near-naked Dwik. His bloody shirt had been tossed aside, and Dwik was now holding his pants against the imp’s leg to try and keep at least some of the blood inside the body.
Alpha gave a pained expression as she dropped the beautiful chewy stick at the gnome’s feet. Say what you want about wolves, but they are fiercely loyal to family, friends, and sticks.
“I know lassy. Probably waste of a good stick, but we will find ya another. I promise!” Dwik said, trying to console the whining wolf. Alpha perked up at his words and gave the gnome a grateful lick. The gnome caught sight of Gitch and bellowed at him to come over with the twine. Gitch handed it over and bent down to offer any possible assistance.
Dwik carefully grabbed hold of Kraznik’s leg, gently bringing the bones back together before delicately strapping the leg to the stick. He started from the bottom and took 10 nerve-racking minutes to reach the top. By the time he finished, Kraznik had passed out.
“His pulse is weak, and he has lost a lot of blood. I’m not so sure he will last much longer. Now that the leg has been stabilized, health medicine or a potion should fully heal him. Problem is, I don’t have any, and it looks like you used the only potion the imp had. Maybe if we had some more of those rahzen berries…” Dwik trailed off.
Rahzen berries? Gitch had heard that name somewhere, but he couldn’t place it. Whatever they were, they needed to find some ASAP!
“Yes, of course! Where can we find rahzen berries, Dwik?”
Dwik rolled his eyes and gently slapped Gitch across the face. Well, it was a little gentle. To a gnome.
“What the hell!” Gitch shouted.
“Pay attention! I need yer gloop fruit, ya twonk!”
“Well, why didn’t you just say that! Would that have been so hard? And are you sure there isn’t another fruit that could heal him, though? Maybe some apples or something?” Gitch said, still rubbing his cheek.
“Hey, you were the one wanting to save this imp! Hand it over, or you can consider him dead already!” Dwik finished in a fiery huff.
Gitch had to admit, seeing the gnome standing there in nothing but a pair of stained underwear was more than a bit intimidating. He decided to hand over his prized fruit.
“Fine, but try not to use it all!” he said as he emptied his pouch of all remaining gloop fruit.
Dwik quickly picked up a few and ran back over to the imp. He whispered a soft incantation before squeezing the gloop into the imp’s mouth and wounds. The sight of it almost made Gitch tear up.
Dwik had used up two of the fruits and tossed their poor carcasses aside. Kraznik’s wounds appeared to be healing but he was still unconscious, and Dwik frowned when he checked for a pulse. Gitch was dying to help, but he just wasn’t sure what to do.
Dwik punched the ground and looked at Gitch in frustration. “You owe me one!”
Gitch wasn’t sure what he meant until he saw Dwik hunch over the prone body and perform emergency CPR. He pushed air into Kraznik’s mouth for several seconds before retreating back up and pounding on the imp’s chest. It became a cycle. Mouth to mouth, pound. Mouth to mouth, pound. It was around the 7th or 8th cycle, when they heard a loud high-pitched voice behind them.
“What the second bunghole of a jaeger beetle is going on here?!”
Gitch instantly looked for whoever had made that very bizarre exclamation. Hovering in the air were 11 fairies with matching shocked expressions. The middle fairy was burnt orange, and the others varied from deep red and purple, to lime green and bright yellow. Each had a floating dot of yellow or higher. From this distance, he thought they kind of looked like flying Skittles, though there were no rainbows he felt like tasting.
He didn’t know why they looked so surprised. I mean, sure, they were rescuing Kraznik from death, but that shouldn’t have been enough to warrant such shock. He took a quick look around to try and picture the scene from their point of view.
An almost naked pink gnome was making out with an imp while five wolves and another fairy looked on from all sides. Further, a slight moan was now coming from the imp’s lips, though his eyes were still closed. There was also an intense odor filling the air that smelled remarkably like urine. Yeah, okay... it definitely looked pretty sketch.
Gitch had mixed feelings upon seeing the fairies. He was excited to see others of his kind, but on the other hand, this was not exactly how he thought their first meeting would start.
Dwik about swallowed his own tongue at the sound of their new arrival. He jumped up and threw his hands in the air as fast he could. “I can explain!” he stammered out.
He stood with his hands raised for a few more seconds before finally realizing his near nakedness. He bent forward to grab his tunic, but thought better of it, seeing as it was covered in black imp blood. Looking embarrassed, he just sat on the ground and used his hands to cover up as much of his creamy pink chest as he could.
Kraznik chose that particular moment to regain consciousness. All it took was for him to stick out his tongue and taste the remnants of the healing berry for him to blurt out for all to hear. “Oh god, I need that sweet nectar in my belly! Me so hungry!”
When no one responded, he looked up and saw the 11 fairies for the first time. His yellow eyes went wide with fright, and he instantly started looking for a means to escape. Seeing none, he continued to lie down and wait for his immanent death.
In unison, Dwik, Gitch, and Kraznik expressed themselves in resignation.
“Crap.”
Chapter 14
The orange fairy whispered something to one of his green compatriots, and the lot of them slowly descended. They watched the three sentient creatures with weary eyes. More than a few were gripping their tridents so hard that their knuckles turned paper-white.
Neither Gitch, Dwik, or Kraznik moved to intercept the newcomers as they neared the ground. There was a heavy tension in the air, with all waiting to see what would become of the odd trio. Well, almost everyone.
The wolves were wagging their tails merrily and howled with pleasure as soon as the fairies touched down. All five rushed over to start licking with abandon, and a few of the fairies broke rank to start playing with the wolves in earnest.
The orange fairy, presumably the leader, rolled his eyes, and addressed Gitch directly. “Well met, Brother. My name is Selah, captain of these troops. How come you to be in the company of an imp and a...” He glanced quizzically at Dwik, “Gremlin? That may explain your lustful interest with the devil imps.” He looked back at Gitch. “How have you come by such interesting company?”
Gitch debated on how much he should reveal. Surely, they would not take issue with him being a player, but what was a player now anyway? He was stuck here in this world, same as them.
“Well met Selah, my name is Gitch. That pink fellow is Dwik, a friend and former hermit of these woods. He is a true and faithful gnome that had a rather unfortunate run-in with a magical explosion. He formerly lived just north of here in fact, prior to his, eh, accident.”
“Oh, aye, accident it was! An accident you showed up at my door and blew up me home to make room for yer precious mushroom! Don’t you be makin’ it was my fault yer a twonk!” Dwik interjected, his surely nature surging forth.
The fairy leader looked like he wanted to ask something, but Gitch wanted to introduce Kraznik before any blood was shed. Some of the younger looking fairies were inching up to the still prone imp, and he did not like the hungry look in their eyes.
“The imp is Kraznik. He was being held as a slave to the imps encamped in this forest. We have talked, and he has decided to swear allegiance to the fairies and forever forsake his given race. He has even gone as far as killing several of the imp trainers to prove his loyalty to our cause. I am sure he likely has some very useful information for you about what goes on inside these enemy camps. Isn’t that right, Kraznik?”
The imp nodded emphatically. “Yes! Yes, they are dead.
Long live the fairies! Do not harm poor Kraznik. We can be friends!”
Captain Selah looked unconvinced, but he did waive his fairies back. The ones not playing with the wolves, anyhow. He then turned to address the gnome.
“Dwik, we met once, long ago. You struck me as a sour snake but never the sort to canoodle with an imp. What the bunny throng are you doing?!?” the captain asked, pointing directly at Kraznik.
“Ah, well I was tryin’ to keep him alive is all. He fell to the ground and was bleeding bad. The rahzen berries helped but he needed some oxygen, and so I did what I did. Get off it, Selah!”
The fairy shook his head in bewilderment. The imp just fell out of the sky? There was more to this story, but the smell was starting to get to him.
“We can sort that all out once we bring you back with us, but someone please explain what that awful stench is!”
“The, um... the wolves found it necessary to pee on Kraznik a little while ago,” Gitch said sheepishly. “They told me I should as well, but I decided to let him keep at least some of his dignity.”
The imp shot him a dirty look. He could almost hear Kraznik scream, “WTF, MAN! YOU LET THAT HAPPEN?!”
Selah merely pursed his lips and nodded his head. “Finally, something that makes sense! I knew I always liked wolves. I say, that was a missed opportunity on your part!”
Captain Selah then gave a shrill whistle that gained the attention of even the wolves and undisciplined fairies, whose antics had brought them on the other side of the clearing. They looked up in time to see Selah puff his chest out and yell, “Get your flea licking insubordinate shanks over here now, or I will have you bathe this imp with nothing but your own hair and spit!”
Gitch didn’t know who looked more horrified, Kraznik, or the two fairies that double-timed it back.
“Sorry, Captain!” said the purple one looking downcast. “You know how it is. They wanted to play and how could I say no? They are such good biggie wolves!”
“Be that as it may, Wasi, you left your squad without leave and before danger could be properly assessed. Sergeant Pinaki will speak with you and Chitt later regarding punishment. For now, you two are on patrol duty. Circle in opposing directions around the perimeter of this glade. Fly to!”
“Yes, Captain!” Wasi and Chitt shouted in unison. They shared a worried glance but took off into the air.
“Sergeant Pinaki, please take Faik, Chiko, and Jiri and keep watch over these two, but particularly the imp. If he even looks like he is about to take flight, you have my permission to slash his throat and use the hole as the new squad latrine! Watch the gnome, but he is to be treated well. Nothing should befall him without absolute cause. I need to speak privately with Brother Gitch. The rest of you,” Selah looked at the remaining fairies with mirth in his eyes. “Enjoy some downtime with our furry friends!”
The four fairies whooped as they zoomed over to the giddy wolves. Their comrades assigned to guard and parameter duty looked on longingly. Not one of them complained, however, and they continued with their assigned tasks.
Selah made a ‘come here’ gesture with his finger, which Gitch, of course, obeyed. The two walked in the direction of the cave as Selah asked his first question.
“I have to ask,” he said. “There are no other creatures lurking in that cave, are there? This day has made about as much sense as a baby bunyip passing up his mother’s milk, and I do not want me or my squad ambushed by some dark beastie.”
“As far as I know, the only occupants of that cave were the five wolves, Kraznik, and their now deceased former master,” Gitch answered honestly. “Dwik and I have not actually been inside the cave, but that is what we were told by one of the wolves, Alpha.”
“Very well. I still have not made up my mind on the imp, but I would trust the wolves to speak true. Still, better safe than monster scat. I will have some of our fairies confirm no other creatures lie within. Once we finish our conversation, of course. There are two important matters we need to discuss,” he said, stopping to look him in the eyes. Gitch merely nodded, urging the fairly to continue.
“First, I must tell you of our current mission. We were sent by the queen fairy herself to investigate the source of a strong magical presence north of our current position. The effects were felt just yesterday, and I have a feeling you and Dwik may have had something to do with it. I couldn’t help but catch you say something about an explosion turning the grouchy gnome pink? Tell me what happened, and if any imp has yet stumbled upon the location.”
Gitch didn’t have any reason not to trust Selah, and so he told him everything. Everything that pertained to the explosion, that is. He specifically left out some of yesterday’s events, but nothing overly important. He was just tired of all the whiz and poo from the last 24 hours.
Selah guffawed at how Gitch stopped his release of mana. That was literally the first lesson all fairy children learned. “Keep to weep, release for peace,” Selah recited from memory. The Captain then asked the question he had been dreading-how had he survived?
Gitch saw no way around it. He told Selah of his rebirth and the discovery of the giant toadstool. Selah drew the obvious conclusion-that Gitch was, in fact, an alien to their world. A player. Thankfully, this did not turn out to be a big deal, as there were many player fairies that had spawned in their village. This brought newfound excitement to Gitch, who was already anxious to see the home of his people. He did wonder why they had spawned in the village and he had appeared in the old glade with Dwik, but he supposed Lily had her own stupid reasons.
“This magical glade you speak of certainly lines up with what we have been searching for. You say no imp has discovered the location? Let’s pray that this remains so. This may just be the deciding factor in this cursed war!”
The captain’s pronouncement reminded Gitch of another quest he had received recently. “Actually, there is one more thing you should know about the glade. Once we arrive, you should speak with Todd, the Toadstool. He is dying to meet you guys!”
“We will need to see this wonder for ourselves, but that brings me to the second point. I can see you trust this imp, Dufflin knows why, but we will need to bring the three of you back to Fae-thil for additional questioning. Queen Tibura will likely want to hear your story first hand. I trust you do not object?” It was not exactly a question, and Gitch had a strong feeling that he had better not refuse.
“Yes, of course. I was hoping to make my way to your village in any case.”
“Excellent! I thought you might. The real concern is Dwik and your imp. Outsiders are typically barred from entrance, but Queen Tibura may allow an exception in this case. You will see upon arrival. I am afraid I cannot allow the imp to know the exact location of our home. It would be much easier to interrogate him here and be done with him altogether.”
In no way did he look afraid or sympathetic of Kraznik. Gitch did not think the imp would survive the interrogation. In fact, it sounded like he was meant not to.
“I understand your position, Selah, but I still believe he may be of most use to you and the queen, alive. Can we not simply bind and blindfold him? I know for a fact that he holds no loyalty to his former captors and could be a great asset in this war you speak of,” Gitch suggested.
The captain pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed in exasperation. “Fine! I do not know how you can stand to be in the presence of that flying bladder of pimple pus any longer, but we will do as you say, for now. Know this, I will hold you responsible for his actions. If he escapes, murders, or betrays us in any way, then… well, just don’t let it happen. You seem like a good sort, just get your fairy heart in the right place. Don’t let me down, alright?”
“Yeah, of course. If it comes down to it, I will kill him personally. I just think he deserves a chance; you know?” Gitch responded empathetically.
Selah shook his head. “Nah, I don’t. Let’s get back to the squad.”
They both lifted into the air and made their way
back to the waiting fairies. As they neared, Gitch heard Sergeant Pinaki call out for Chitt and Wasi to return to the center of the clearing. They flew over quickly, landing just after Gitch and Selah arrived. The sergeant looked down at the two rambunctious fairies, who of course were standing with eyes lowered. Gitch could feel the waves of dread and shame emanating from them as they prepared to undergo some fierce punishment.
After a few moments of silence, the sergeant said, “Go find me a puckle rock.”
Wasi stood there in confusion, but Chitt immediately took three steps, scooped up a rock that had perhaps a hundred tiny little holes in it and took it back to the sergeant. Pinaki looked down at the ‘puckle rock’ and responded, “Private Chitt, that’s not my rock. Go find me my puckle rock!”
Gitch looked around the clearing. There was a metric crap load of heavy-looking puckle rocks spread across the ground, but Chitt and Wasi flew off in separate directions to dutifully complete their mission. Both fairies continued to bring rocks back to the sergeant but none of these were apparently his puckle rock. This continued for about 15 minutes while the rest of those not on guard or patrol duty cheered them on.
Finally, Wasi breathlessly flew up and handed him one more puckle rock. He very nearly took off to grab another, when Pinaki put up a hand. The sergeant stared at him, then the rock, then back at Wasi.
“Felix!” he yelled. “You found Felix, private!”
Both Chitt and Wasi looked more relieved than any two creatures he had seen in his entire life... until the sergeant’s face scrunched together in a grimace.